Delta Source

Things I've Figured Out
I'm tired of believing the people I love are all going to hell if they're not Christians
Oh, wow, Christians are such hypocrites. They raise us to think WE'RE the ones being persecuted and then when I look at everything - we're the ones doing all the persecution.
I'm tired. Really really tired.
I really really like Wicca, but I haven't made a decision. Too soon for that.
I have NO IDEA what I'm doing after school. None. It's terrifying.

Things I'm Scared Of
losing my whole family because of this crisis
being someone I'm not
being alone forever
losing all my friends
never figuring out what's right
looking stupid in front of everyone
being a failure after school

...generally? I'm just scared.

Just an update; to all my JC friends, I am indeed still alive. Summer courses are incredibly fast-paced and take up a lot of time, and also activity has increased at Bello Estremita, and it's chance card time again, so I've got those to write up.

As far as school goes, I'm taking two rather intensive courses this summer; one fascinating Literature class, dealing in early world literature, whose only fault is that it begins at 8 o'clock in the morning and requires about two hours of reading and writing outside of class every day. I love this class...we've been dealing in Homer's works for the past two weeks, but I've skimmed through the books - the kind of which I might read for personal entertainment, given the choice - and found, also, select passages from The Aenid and The Divine Comedy. I love early literature. Also, Odysseus. He is one of my favorite heroes. I love him.

My other class is math, and all I have to say about it is this: BLEH.

I've also done some fascinating research in preparation for the writing of our book. I've finished one biography called The Life and Times of Grigori Rasputin, which, when it comes to biographies about this particular personage, is fairly down-to-earth without leaving out the fascinating bits. He really was an odd duck.  I've begun another biography on him called Rasputin: The Holy Devil, which was written in 1928...just ten years after the execution of the Czar (Tsar? I'm still not entirely of a mind on which way to spell that.) and his family and twelve years after the death of the man himself. This one is a bit more sensationalist, but it's fun to read none the less. The most interesting parts are the ones that are recorded in both books. For example, some particularly creepy letters written by the Grand Duchesses to Rasputin, in which they absolutely pine for his return, including one written by Anastasia who claims to be love-sick at his absence and signs her letter "your Anastasia". Another letter was written by Grand Duchess Olga, with regards to a young man she was in love with and Rasputin's advice about this love interest. It amused me because the name of her crush bears the same name of a character who appears in the book, serving as a soldier under the Czar's command.

Anyway, I've been an absolute history dork lately, and am loving every minute of it. I'm sorry if I've been out of contact; I love you all!

Emmi

Seems like, nowadays, you can't get away from the name "Edward Cullen". He's all over facebook, he's in conversations with people you pass on the street, and now he's even getting his own movie. The more I heard about this Edward Cullen, the less I liked...apparently, Edward Cullen is a vampire. Not only is he a vampire, but he's a "dazzling" "sparkly" vampire. Sarah and I kept seeing him all over the internet. Our curiosity finally got the better of us, and we looked up the plot summaries for this book series on Wikipedia.

Dear. Sweet. Force.

I don't think I have ever read anything quite. that. horrendous. The main characters, according to the plot description were the -worst- Mary Sues I have ever seen in my life. Surely, we thought, since it had been published, it couldn't be as bad as the Wiki plot summaries said it was. Anyone can edit Wikipedia, right? So maybe there was some mistake.

Sarah and I -bought- the book. In the past few days, we have subjected ourselves to what has been referred to in the past as "the world's first textually transmitted disease".

o.O

In a fit of horror, I went out and acquired a set of colored pens, and went to work marking up the book. The result is a multicolored rainbow of correction that proves the person who edited this atrocity was, in fact, a dead monkey on a stick. Or possibly a can of decade-old cream corn.

I am...compelled to write a review. The review will be extensive and on a chapter-by-chapter basis. It will not be pretty. You have been warned.

Review will be up soon. I'm going to post it separately since this is all basically a rant.

So, yeah. I have no classes today. Woo! I've got so much work to do, it isn't even funny. I know my grades aren't gonna be hot this semester. :/ Fortunately, I've only got a one-week timespan in which to go home, where I will avoid showing my parents my grades like the plague. Hopefully they won't find out until there's an entire state between me and them, and I won't have to listen to the OMGNOTFULFILLINGPOTENTIAL rant. Again.

WOO BAD STUDENT. I'm awesome! -awesomeface-

In other news,  VaderLVR posted a story today that makes my heart happy. It was the first  response to the May Challenge, which was so amazingly angsty and full of wonderful that I wanted to hug her. If you want to read it, here goes:

Silence

It's very well written, and I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who wants a good fic to read.

Also, LOL at reading my old journals. Sensitve emotional teenage kid was sensitive and emotional. : |

I've got to go retrieve keys so that I can get lunch. -ish hungry-

EDIT: May I take this time to say that according to facebook, I have acquired 91 Pokemanz. This morning when I woke up, Kelly sent me RAPIDASH. Flaming unicorn ftw. Also, gots a Pontya and a Seadra from Sarah. Schweet. I can't wait til the app lets you train them. :D

-dorkdorkdorkdorkdork-  

*stabs generic LJ first post*

*stabbitystabstabstab*

Woo new LJ. It seems like I have five million of these things, but none of them are actually used to communicate with people. As it's a rather easy way to keep up with JC peoples, I decided to acquire a new one, and actually post random thoughts, things that amuse me, and the occasional mild rant, if only to let my lovely JC friendses know that I'm still around.

Let's see...what have I been doing lately? Trying to get through school, making new friends, and investing myself in several different fandoms. This summer I embark on a quest to finish an original novel with a close friend. I'm going to avoid showing my parents my grades until the very last minute in hopes of not getting yelled at until there's a state between me and them. :-p And...generally...just trying to live life, you know? As always, I'm generally incensed by the state of the Star Wars EU, and insist that Karen Traviss will be in bodily danger in my presence. Same goes for George Lucas. : | I had almost given up on the fandom, but a sudden resurgence in interest has me dabbling again. :D Woo!

Anyway, I missed my -friends- from the JC. It'll be good to talk to you guys regularly again. :D

Emmi